One thing I did not expect when we decided to take the foster-adopt journey was how many people (who have never taken this journey) have felt compelled to tell me specifically what my kid's problem behaviors are, why they probably act like they do, how we should be handling them, etc.
The first thing that always comes to my mind is self doubt on my parenting- I feel like everyone sees these things and thinks our family is out of control! I feel like I am not doing a good job. I feel like giving up.
Then I start to think of how that person is not in my shoes. They most likely have had natural kids and have had time to nurture their child, hone their parenting skills and bring them up accordingly. They are not having therapists come in twice a month to meet with their children and give them evidenced based, credible parenting advice for children like ours.
They most likely are expecting our children to behave like theirs.
And that is just not going to happen! At least no time soon. Brad and I were just talking the other day about how it has been 6 months since the kids moved in. We have seen SO much progress with the kids....yet we still have so many worries and concerns for things they are still processing and adjusting to. Then there is us- We are still adjusting and processing!!! I feel like the recovery mentality of "one day at a time" is our motto! There have been so many times when I know I have not made the best decisions in handling things.
To our advantage, we serve a GREAT God who gives us his GRACE to cover all of the areas that we fail in. So thankful for that!! We truly are a work in progress, just like every other family out there.... so please- go easy on us! I promise I will never tell you how to parent your child- unless you are on my caseload and I am being paid to do it!
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